Running On Fumes

If there was one thing I wish I knew now, it’s how to balance how much of yourself to give. The problem (okay, one of many) with being such an intense person is I don’t know how to ration myself sometimes. And so when I am given a role or a job that I so badly want to excel in, I throw myself so wholeheartedly into it that I often find myself burnt out, exhausted and a crying, heaping mess when I realize I can’t do it all.

So, this motherhood-wife thing. Well, hot damn. I knew it was going to be tough, but I didn’t know it was going to be soul-crushing at times. I pour out so much of myself all day long that I often have nothing left for myself. I know it comes with time and practice, but I wish I knew how to pace my self. How to love on myself enough so that I don’t end up feeling like I’ve got nothing left to give. My son deserves a sane, loving mama, not an exhausted, impatient one. But I have to admit, I’m tired, and I wish I could go somewhere for a refill right about now. Something needs to change soon.


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2 responses to “Running On Fumes”

  1. hisaac Avatar

    Hiiiii 🙂 I realise my comment is days late. But the emotions that are in this blog post are timeless. Asher is almost 4 years old and I still feel these very same things and go through them every now and then. I think that’s why God designed women to be sisters towards each other is because there is such a power when we come together and encourage one another.

    It’s really hard, this role we play. And most of the time, after we’re empty, there’s no place to get a refill. Except of course, heavenward. But I get you. Only by God’s grace do we ever rise above the physical lack of ability we often find ourselves in.

    You write so beautifully Kris. Keep it up. I maintain my blog vicariously through you haha. What I did not have the patience and perseverance to continue, I applaud in you. So many other mommas can benefit from just reading that someone else other than they are going through tough times.

    Love you!

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    1. Kris Isaac Flojo Avatar

      Hi ate hil! Thank you so much for the encouragement and for taking the time to read 🙂 The demands of parenthood are so intense! It is such a great comfort knowing God is always there, and sometimes even showing up through people like you. Love you!

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I’m Kris

Wife to an amazing man and mother to two crazy kids I would burn the whole world down for. I love to write, and so I write. I also love to draw, but I’m not very good at it. I do real estate and own a business. It’s a lot. And it’s a mess, sorry I didn’t have time to fix up. Come in, but watch your step! There’s probably some spilled snacks on the floor. And some Legos. But that’s okay, the couch is cozy and the coffee is hot. Let’s make chika!

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