I woke up this morning with feelings of excitement bursting from my chest. Never in my life have I received such clarity about my next steps, the directions so sure. While I always knew that writing was God’s path for me, I always got caught up with the What, Where, When, and How of the matter. My analysis paralysis resulted in constant delay, which birthed more self-doubt, which caused further delay, and on and on it goes.

God must have had enough of my disobedience that He decided to send me a very loud and clear message through a friend. That message received confirmation upon confirmation, that ignoring it would be rebellion. So, much like Moses’ moment with the burning bush, I ran out of excuses and finally said, here I am Lord, send me.

I am in the thick of working on a book that not only has a shape, but a clear direction. God provided everything in different moments of inspiration: the content, the style, the voice, the title. All I really need to do is show up every single day to write. There is one thing, however, that I didn’t anticipate: that it would require vulnerability so deep you can see my bones. It needs me to revisit old wounds and memories, some I’ve tucked away in a box, hidden in dark corners of my mind. Some of those I’ve healed from, some of them I apparently have not. Writing this book will require that I heal from all of them. I have to become a better person just to finish this project. It has honestly been a bit of a struggle, not because I don’t have the words, but because I have to be honest, to be perceived—my worst nightmare. Very on brand for Jesus though, isn’t it? To require us to step far beyond our comfort zones so that His power can be made manifest through our weaknesses. It will always leave me in awe.

This is where I ask for your participation, those of you who read my words. The founding pastor of my church, Dr. Chuck Quinley, posted recently on Facebook asking for prayers because he is writing a book as well. He said that writing is a spiritual battle, and he needed the support of people through prayers. He was struggling a little bit with the subject matter, and he asked his friends to help him in battle by praying with and for him. I had never considered writing as a battleground, but it made so much sense to me when I read that. Of course writing is that powerful—we have the Bible as the best example of the word being alive. Of course the enemy will either use it or suppress it in order to get in the way of any kind of ministry work. If it will reach people’s hearts and minds for Jesus, then it is a spiritual battle indeed. I need to prepare like a warrior.

So If you’re reading this, whether you like my writing or don’t, please say a prayer for me anyway. Pray for my ability to heal and learn, for inspiration to show up every day, to write even when I don’t feel like it. For protection of my mind, my heart, my family. For me to lean on the only Source that matters. My calling is clear and that is what I’m holding on to, but I am not always a strong person, and my will is weak. Only through Jesus am I ever anything but. So if you could, please pray for and with me. My goal is to have that book in my hands by next year, but I will follow God’s timeline. I know all I really need to do is to show up. From the bottom of my heart, and in hopeful expectation, thank you. ❤