I stared at the curtains for a few minutes. The room was still dark but I could see a little sliver of light in between the panels. It was 7AM, and I had hit the snooze button 3 times already, because I couldn’t get myself to wake up my snoring kids. They looked so cozy and safe and comfortable. Such a shame, I thought, sleep is so wonderful.

Then another thought came into my mind that made me realize how lacking in perspective I’ve been. It’s been almost two weeks since my husband came home from the hospital and isolated in our son’s bedroom. In those two weeks, my kids have been home because of the storm, and then their school decided to give them a nice long break for the holidays. I groaned inwardly, knowing that I’d have no time to think, let alone do any serious writing. But today is day 3 of them being back in school, and I realize now how much harder it would have been if they had been going to school this whole time. Waking up early each day, preparing breakfast and their school lunches. Scheduling pick-ups and homework and activities. It most definitely would have been much more stressful.

With them being at home the last two weeks, we were able to wake up when we wanted, and then we would spend time in bed cuddling. We’d call their dad and say good morning. We’d spend the day just being with each other. And I really like being around them a lot. I like knowing they’re near. Sure I get frustrated and run out of patience too, and many times I ended the day telling them mommy is at zero percent and I need you guys to just stop talking and go to sleep NOW. But what a pleasure and a privilege it was to just be with them. All those times I was impatient or yelly was because I focused on what I didn’t have (time for myself) and forgot to enjoy what I had (time with them).

I don’t fault myself for the days when I felt like I just couldn’t take on much more. I do, however, know I could have reacted better. And as I watched the sun get brighter from in between those curtains, I knew then that God was watching out for me this whole time. What seemed hard was actually good. I whispered a prayer asking for forgiveness because I refused to see the good that was laid out before me. I whispered a prayer of thanks that every day is a day to begin again.

I sang my kids my wake up song, wakey wakey eggs and bakey time to go to scho0o0ol! And proceeded to sniffkiss them til they woke. They always smell so sweet in the morning. My son said but the bed feels so nice mom and my daughter said please carry me I have to pee and that’s how we started our day. I hope I get to start their days like this for a little longer.